Pulling back the curtain just a wee bit…

HOT POINTS for The Week of August 30, 2010 Blaine Parker www.slowburnmarketing.com TELLING CREATIVE FROM SHINOLA… The inspiration for this somewhat snarky little headline comes from a recent conversation about the unfortunates who are saddled with the title “Creative Director.” What happens to the unfortunates is that they often have little or no experience being Creative Directors–but they approach their job with a zeal befitting William Wallace sacking York. And the entire time, of course, they’re focused on being “creative.” As they should. After all, that’s why they were hired. Right? NOT SO FAST… Despite the obvious (and unfortunate) wording, the job of a Creative Director is not to “be creative.” The job of a Creative Director is to be strategic. Now, in advertising agencies (at least, in the good ones) there’s an understanding of this. But in many other environments where people generate creative product, there isn’t a whole lot of comprehension about this. The question being asked is, “How can I be creative now?” But the real question should be, “How can I bring a new creative slant to this strategy?” ADVERTISING LIVES AND DIES BY STRATEGY It doesn’t matter how creative you are. If you have no strategy, if you don’t have the finger on the pulse of your target audience, you’re whistling into the wind. Once upon a time, I was asked why a very, very creative commercial wasn’t working. The message was aimed at CPAP users. In case you don’t know, that stands for Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. A CPAP is a machine with a hose and a mask worn by people with sleep apnea. Without the CPAP, side effects can be brain damage and death. YAY, VEGETABLES & CORPSES! The commercial in question was loaded with bad comedy. It wasn’t generating many phone calls, but boy was it creatively comic. Just what someone who wears a machine to prevent brain damage and death wants to hear. My solution was to throw out all the creative comedy and say simply this: “You have a CPAP and you hate it.” Boy,that is not creative in any way. But it sure is strategic. It resulted in a 400% increase in call volume overnight. THE OLD CREATIVE WAS MERELY “CREATIVE…” But the new creative was strategic. It certainly wouldn’t win any awards. But then, was that really the goal? Or was the goal to generate calls from people in the target demo, who happened to be suffering from a potentially fatal condition? And if they have a potentially fatal condition, do they really want to hear jokes about it? Based on the anecdotal evidence (i.e., call volume), the answer was absolutely, unequivocally, No. Know to whom you’re speaking, and know what’s important to them. For a potent example, look at the single most “creative” campaign around right now. IS IT THE ADVERTISING YOUR ADVERTISING COULD SMELL LIKE? Sales of Old Spice Body Wash are up 107%. And that Isaiah Mustafa “I’m On A Horse” campaign, despite being enormously creative and amusing, is also incredibly strategic. (Body wash does not come with potential brain damage or death. One has license to entertain.) The writers from Wieden + Kennedy knew exactly to whom they were speaking, new exactly what was important to that person, and knew exactly how to execute the advertising. All of it. That campaign is insanely strategic. It was a couple of years in the making. Since the original spot launched in February of this year, there have been over 100 viral videos created as part of the campaign, often responding to emails about the advertising. Merely being “creative” is not what Old Spice is about. Applying creativity using a relevant and strategic methodology is paramount. AND IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO ONE, SINGLE INDIVIDUAL… The customer. If you’re writing CPAP advertising, you have to know what’s important to the CPAP user–who could possibly be facing death. If you’re writing body wash advertising, you have to know what’s important to the body wash buyer–and WHO the body wash buyer is. Old Spice Body Wash is made for men, but the advertising is targeted at women–because women make the vast majority of body wash purchases. And–this is key–the men are still able to laugh at the commercials right along with the women. If you’re imaging a rock station, you need to know what’s important to the rock listener–who’s listening at least for fun, possibly as a lifestyle choice, and possibly even as a way to define himself. Those imaging promos need to be ABOUT that listener. If you’re writing advertising for an evangelical Christian women’s conference, you need to know what’s important to evangelical Christian women. This all sounds obvious, right? You’d be amazed how frequently the customer is overlooked. I AM DEFINITELY NOT AN EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN WOMAN If you must know, I’m a wayward Episcopalian male of a certain age. I also happen to have an uncle with an engineering degree from MIT who’s a Benedictine monk. Go figure. (This is about as theological as we’re going to get here.) And when tasked with writing advertising for a conference for that evangelical Christian woman, I had to crawl inside her psyche. Which is why, 15 minutes after I submitted the copy for approval, my phone rang. It was the client (who DOES happen to be an evangelical Christian woman). She said, “Blaine, I don’t know how you did this, but it’s amazing. We’re all in tears over here.” That’s one of the single best compliments I’ve ever had on my writing: women crying. (For the right reason.) And frankly, it’s easy–once you push your creative ego out of the way and become the customer. All it takes is being strategically creative. I didn’t just pull some stupid comedy out of a hole in MY head. I considered where the CUSTOMER’S head was at and what mattered to her as regards the conference. Then, I pushed the Episcopalian adult male out of the way, and wrote from that woman’s perspective. That’s just one element of strategic creativity. BEING STRATEGIC IS KEY–AND SO IS CARING ABOUT THE PROSPECT Screenwriting guru Robert McKee has a list of 10 Commandments he distributes to all his writing students. McKee’s Commandment #6 is: “Thou shalt respect your audience.” This is what he calls “the anti-hack commandment.” His assertion is that hack writers are cynics who do not respect the people for whom they are writing. (I personally believe that “hack writing” is much more complex than this, and have proudly referred to myself as a hack from time to time. But in the interests of discussing Creative Strategy, we’re sticking with McKee’s definition for now.) So, if you don’t know what your audience cares about, you don’t care that you don’t know what they care about, and you don’t try to write in any way that respects them, you basically just whack down words on a page and walk away…you’re a hack. Yep. That’s contemporary cynicism all right. And if you don’t know your audience, if you don’t respect them, you can’t be strategically creative on their behalf. CALL ME A COCKEYED OPTIMIST, BUT I DO BELIEVE THE BEST SELLING COMES FROM A PLACE OF LOVE. Love your customer, and do what it takes to do the right thing for him or her. And that includes understanding him or her, knowing what he or she wants, knowing what matters to him or her, and knowing what will make him or her respond. That’s why, as advertising people, it is incumbent upon us to pay attention to the zeitgeist. What our customers know and care about is out there. All we have to do is lose our egos, listen to reality, and pay attention to what it says. As always, Blaine Parker Your Lean, Mean Creative Director in Park City

IS SOMEONE YOU KNOW LOSING BIG MONEY–OR MAKING YOU CRAZY–BY NOT READING HOT POINTS?

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Now you see the type of reading and studying we do around here. It’s not about just pulling something out of our hat and putting your name on it. The questions we ask, while at times may seem a little strange, are all designed to help us understand your customer, and what’s important to them. Then, and only then, can we write an On-Hold message that will be relevant, interesting, and valuable to your caller. And isn’t that the point?

It’s Friday…go have a great, safe, and fun holiday weekend!

I’ll be you’ve had a similar experience in micro…the last time you called a company and were put On-Hold.  With so many things that need to be done in our busy lives, no one wants to wait, and who could blame us?

Have you been in Best Buy and had to wait in line to checkout? What do you do while you wait? You probably skim the end caps, but I’ll bet you spend most of the wait watching the Best Buy TV program on one of the many screens they have positioned in site. Why do they put those there?
Because when your mind is engaged, it doesn’t think about the amount of time you’ve been waiting. It feels like only a few seconds, when really they’ve been able to play four 1 minute promos for you!

Now back to the On-Hold. If your business is putting people On-Hold, and just having them listen to silence, you’re actually extending the perceived wait time.  How would you like it if Best Buy required you to put on a blindfold while you stood in line? Every second would feel like an hour until you could take that blindfold off!

But if you choose to engage your caller during those inevitable times they have to wait On-Hold, the amount of time they perceive they are waiting will be quite a bit less. Custom On-Hold messaging that is engaging and relevant is just like hanging those screens near the checkout line of Best Buy.

From Adam’s article:

There’s still plenty we don’t understand about how humans perceive time, but one fact is clear: we don’t perceive time the way clocks portray time, one second at a time, with each second passing just as quickly as its earlier and later counterparts.

Sure, nobody likes to wait, but what kind of experience is your company providing for those customers who call in? Is your caller experience a good one? Are you speeding up their clock, or slowing it down?

“…I want to know right now how long you expect me to wait…”

Illustration by Jason Ford

In a study released in January 2010, Consumer Reports revealed that waiting to talk to a live human when calling a company ranked as the second most annoying thing that you and I deal with daily. (the first? Hidden fees).

There’s no doubt why. We’re all busy. We want to accomplish our goals while taking the least amount of time possible. And waiting while listening to silence is more annoying than being stuck in a traffic jam! (only #14 on the list)

In fact, respondents said they would rather scoop dog poop than wait On-Hold! (Don’t believe me? Check out the results at Consumer Reports)

As a business, what can you do about this? There’s always the first thing that comes to mind…”Hire more people!”

That’s what most people suggest. And mostly that suggestion probably comes from someone who has never owned their own business. There can never be a one-t0-one ratio of employees to customers. It simply is not feasible.

But most helpful folk don’t stop to consider that. They just want you to handle their issue right now.

One approach we’re encouraging businesses in is to take that On-Hold time seriously. As serious as a customer walking in your front door. What are the things you do to make your customer’s first impression a great one? Do you hire an interior decorator? Do you keep the customer-visible areas neat and clean? Do you have information for customers to take with them when they walk out the door?

You can do the same thing for customers that call in to your business.

Make a great first impression by having more than silence On-Hold. An On-Hold message will grab your caller’s ear when they first hear it.

You’ve got my ear…now what?

Now you’ve got about 2.86 seconds to keep them listening. Is it going to be interesting? Or is it going to be about how long you’ve been in business?

Are you going to tell the caller a story…and make them the star? Or are you going to keep all the stardom to yourself, and try to make your business the most important thing in the message. (hint: customers like to imagine themselves using your product or service to make their life better. They don’t really care that you’ve been in business since 1942)

If you want an On-Hold message that will turn angry customers into laughing ones, tell callers about products or services they didn’t know you offered, or flat-out sell more product, you better be paying attention to the phone. Listen to these On-Hold samples to get some ideas that could transform your Caller Experience.

Then let’s work on a solution for Tailgaters…that’s the next thing on the list!

You watch it while you’re eating breakfast.

It’s on your car radio at the top of every hour (and the bottom of some!)

News. It’s all around us…and we all love it. We like it because we want to be “in the know”. We want to have the latest information…the current story.

We all like to be the one at the party that has all the details to tell everyone else. Oh, not in a self important, smug way, but just a subtle “I’m with it” kind of way.

That’s why we’re really excited to be bringing News, Sports, and Entertainment to your On-Hold message!

Starting in September 2010, you’ll be able to choose our Daily News package add-on, which includes news, sports, and entertainment…(always filtered for positive, upbeat news, of course!), updated daily. It integrates with your current On-Hold message, so you still continue to spread the word about your company, while also providing a fresh alternative to boring On-Hold time.

I’ve attached some recent clips of what each of those insertions would sound like:

NEWS On-Hold

SPORTS On-Hold

ENTERTAINMENT On-Hold

For one dollar per day, you get fresh, daily content integrated with your own custom messaging.

Imagine sounding relevant to your caller!

Just give us a call, and we’ll add News, Sports, and Entertainment to your On-Hold message!

Know before you go”…”Look before you leap”…that’s what they say.Good quotes and all. Handy for telling your friends AFTER they’ve done something that wasn’t too smart. Now they’re suffering the consequences, and you’re coming up with brainy quotes. Helpful of you.

I was in a meeting of store managers recently, and asked “who knows what you’re callers are hearing On-Hold right now? Because right now, a customer or prospect has called your store, and is waiting On-Hold. What are they hearing?”

I was met by silence and blank stares.

Until it was broken by one brave manager: “I have no idea.”

This is so often the case. Top level managers, business owners, and especially employees, have no idea what happens when they push that Hold button. It’s just something they’re supposed to do.
1. Answer call
2. Speak to customer
3. Push Hold button
4. Retrieve call by lifting receiver
5. Speak to customer

Except that if you don’t know what that customer or prospect is hearing while they’re On-Hold, they might not be there for step 5. They may have vanished. Oh, they’re still around. As a person. But they’ve vanished from your business…and you’ve become invisible to them. While your competition has become they’re latest love.

Think about it the next time you push that Hold button. What ideas are you putting in your customer’s head?

If you do use an On-Hold message, to you play it for your employees? If they knew what your caller just heard, right before they picked them back up, could they help reinforce that message? Of course it would!
(Side note: Do you involve employees in your On-Hold updates? You should! They’re on the front lines of your business!)

And do me a favor, will you?
Pick up your cell phone, call your company right now, and ask whoever answers the phone to put you On-Hold.

Does your Caller Experience need some help?

“Know before you go!”

Wagon Yard On-Hold

NOW you’re interested in more than just a roll-top desk! And why is that?

Because a compelling, relevant On-Hold message moves the “Who Cares” meter!

I’m sure you’ve heard or seen the opposite in an ad…maybe even today. “We’ve been in business since …” Really?

Who cares?

Now, you’re probably saying “But Chester, I don’t want to do business with a fresh, young, inexperienced company!” Really? Like Google? Facebook? Twitter? These are all companies that developed huge (did I say huge?) customer bases, and they weren’t built around how long they had been in business.

Let’s break this down a little more. When a company leads with how long they’ve been in business, what are they really trying to say?

• Their experience makes them the expert
• You will be able to count on warranty support
• You won’t be left “holding the bag” if something goes wrong
• (I’m sure we could come up with a lot more things here)

Any one of those would be more compelling…more interesting to you and me as customers, than “We’ve been in business since…”

Why is that? It’s because of the difference between facts and emotion.

Facts say you’ve been in business for 50 years.

Emotions tell me that I want to buy from someone who is an expert.

Answers like “family-owned,” “superior service” and “exceptional value” don’t generate terribly helpful uncovery information. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice information. But it’s not the bottom-line food-truth about your business that is going to get your visitors salivating for what you have to offer.*

Draw me into the world of emotions, and I am more likely to find interest in your product or service. And the best way to engage the emotional side of the brain is to tell a story.

Tell me a story…make me a star

Tell your customer a story, with them as the star, and you will instantly engage their emotional power. (take a moment to go back and read the first paragraph again. Did you notice it was about you?)

When we tell stories, we engage the emotion rather then the intellect. Emotion and intellect are not connected! Intellectual ads are about inarguable facts. It’s about “New!”, (when it really IS new!)

But emotional ads are about what the customer already knows or feels. They connect with what we already believe to be real, while adding a new perspective.

We do what feels right, then use our intellectual logic to justify our emotional decision.

So the next time you’re thinking about what callers hear while On-Hold, take out the intellect, and put in the emotion. It will make a powerful difference!

Not sure what callers are hearing when they call your company? Our Secret Caller service may be just the thing you need.

*Quote from Brian Eisenberg of http://www.bryaneisenberg.com/

When customers have the guts to speak up and tell you what you’re doing wrong, it would be best to listen.

But it takes really listening, not just to what they are saying, but what they are meaning. If someone is calling your company to see if their order came in, there is a certain expectation that they will have to wait for you to find out if it has arrived.

Yet these same people would say “I’m spending too much time On-Hold” or “whatever you do, don’t put me On-Hold”. So in essence, they are expecting to wait, but they are asking not to make them wait. Hmmmm…

Have you ever been somewhere, expecting to have a mediocre experience, but you came away surprised at how much you enjoyed it! (I sure have!)

Most people’s experience and expectation with being On-Hold is one of frustration, anxiety, and disgust. They’ve experienced the silence (“Am I still connected?” “Did they hang up on me?”), the radio station (“Exactly the kind of music I don’t listen to. “Don’t they know this radio station is not tuned in?”), and Rhapsody in Blue on repeat (Yes, I’m looking at you, United Airlines!)

So what could your customers be saying? They may be telling you that the experience of being On-Hold at your business makes them want to hurl their phone through the window. (or some other nearby glass object) They may be telling you that this is one area of your business that is not drawing them in to do more business with you.

Have someone unrelated call in your business, and get put On-Hold. Have them evaluate the experience. Is it silence? Do you have a message playing, but the volume is so loud that you can’t understand what’s being said? Is it so soft that the sound is dropping out? (Hint: the volume of your On-Hold message should be the same level as your receptionist answering the phone).
Is the radio in tune? One of the hazards of using a radio for your On-Hold is the ease of having the antenna bumped, or station changed. (not to mention the fact that playing the radio On-Hold is illegal in most cases)

So what kind of experience are providing for your callers? Is it an environment that is pleasing to your callers?

And if your customers are talking to you about it, are you listening to what they are telling you?

If you’d like some help knowing what you need to do, check out our Secret Caller service.

And here’s an interesting anonymous tool for reporting good and bad On-Hold experiences: www.heardonhold.com. Next time your On-hold and waiting, check it out.

And finally, a thought to leave you with…What if you delighted your callers?

So how will you, the busy business owner, know when an investment to reach your callers while On-Hold will return good results?

How many calls do you receive?

Over the course of a day, a week, or even a month…how many calls does your business receive? Have you ever thought about counting them? Have you ever tried?
You could get your receptionist or employees to just make a quick tally whenever they answer the calls. It might not be the most technologically advanced method, but it will give you a better understanding of how many calls you do receive!

Or, we can help you with counting calls, as part of our Caller Experience Evaluation service.

How long are callers On-Hold?

We talk with some companies who tell us “We don’t put people On-Hold”, but willing it not to happen doesn’t mean it never does.

Being On-Hold is a fact of life for most businesses. But On-Hold time really falls into two categories:

1. Long hold times…like call centers, tech support, and customer service. These are hold times counted in tens of minutes. (I know…I was On-Hold with American Express for 42 minutes today!)

2. Short hold times…these are hold times that we often don’t think about. Being transferred to another person, or sent to voicemail. Or waiting while someone looks up our order. These are usually measured in seconds. You may be On-Hold for 10 seconds while going to voicemail, 30 seconds while being transferred to the person with whom you would like to speak, or for a minute or two while someone looks up your order, or checks the stock of an item.

These two very different categories require different approches. But for category #2, which most small businesses fall into, optimizing that On-hold time can bring very much value to the caller.

So how do you measure it?

Spend two days asking your staff to roughly track how many calls go On-Hold or are transferred. Again, a simple tally will work. Monitoring a few of those calls will give you a great idea of how long the average hold time is at your company.

Again, this is something we can you with if you like, with our Caller Experience Evaluation.

Then with that information, we can begin to measure the value that a custom On-Hold message can bring to your company.

And if your business really is one of those that doesn’t put people On-Hold? We’ll tell you that as well.

Quantifying the Caller Experience will bring a clearer picture on areas your Caller Experience can improve to maximize customer service.

Remember, you can’t improve what you don’t measure!

discuss updating their On-Hold message. As I sat down, the business owner said “Let me tell you a story.”

Well, I’m always up for a good story, so I listened.

And here’s the strange tale that I heard!

“The other day” says Mr. Owner, “we received a call from a customer whose job had not been going well. There were issues…some our fault, and some not. But things kept piling up until the customer got pretty upset! He called us up because he was frustrated, and wanted to get his problem solved right here and now. The receptionist answered the phone and listened to the customer explain his story. Knowing that the only possibility of making this customer happy was for him to talk directly to me, she placed him On-Hold while she located me. I took a deep breath and reached for the phone, ready to be yelled at by an angry customer.”

“I was greeting by laughter. That’s right, the caller had gone from irate to laughing, in the few minutes he was On-Hold! He said he really enjoyed our On-Hold message, and we talked about the ways we try to have fun with the On-Hold message.”

“We then proceeded to quickly clear up the issues with the job, and get things back on track. But only because of the On-Hold message we have with Prosound. That’s one thing I know we’re doing right!”

And there you have it. Proof of the therapeutic power of On-Hold Messaging. (cue the “ommmmm’s” and the strings”)

Does YOUR caller experience powered by strings, monks, and angels? Or do callers believe you use a pitchfork to push the Hold button?

With a little work, your On-Hold message can be heavenly!

But what happens when you need to coordinate updating 32 locations around the world, and they all have to be updated at the same time, on a specific day?

Well, you do what Piedmont Hawthorne did and trust Prosound to handle the message updating with Network-connected On-Hold players.

Piedmont Hawthorne was in the process of completing the aquisition of Garrett Aviation, and changing the new combined company name to Landmark Aviation. The On-Hold message was a key part of the marketing reach, especially to existing customer bases for both companies. But it had to be timed exactly right.

We worked with Piedmont Hawthorne for several weeks prior to the roll-out to develop messaging that would introduce the new company brand, while not alienating previous brand loyalists.

We also put in place the Net7000 On-Hold message player at each location, to prepare for the update. The Net7000 is a network-connected On-hold player. It plugs into the company network, and accesses our secure Audio Server to download updates and changes…automatically.

The units were installed at each location, which consisted of simply plugging in the network cable, the audio cable, and the power cable. These units are set to pick up their IP address by DHCP, so it was quite a smooth process to install them.
These units connect to our Audio Server over an outbound-only connection, via port 80. That makes them more secure then the computer at your front desk! They are also programmed to check back multiple times each day, so they’ll know right away when new content has been scheduled to download.
We have a great deal of control over scheduling and updating these units, which gives us a tremendous capability to coordinate with a new brand roll-out such as Landmark Aviation!

We produced the new On-Hold messages for Landmark, and loaded them into our Audio Server.

The productions and roll-out dates were assigned to the Net7000 players.

Everything was set for a seamless brand introduction.

On the day the new company was announced, the units downloaded the new productions right on schedule, and began playing right away. All automatically. The staff at each location had enough on their hands without having to worry about updating the On-Hold message!

We were able to handle this in an efficient, brand supporting way, because of the use of our Net7000 On-Hold message player.

These are the types of situations that have made us standardize on the Net7000. When a client asks if we can update their message for a holiday, unscheduled closing, or last minute sale, we have the capability to do so…quickly and easily.

Network-connected On-Hold players are one more way we help companies transform their caller experience!